Hysterical Blindness

Don’t get me wrong its not that I am dreading the addition to our collective group, quite the contrary actually. I am extremely excited and happy for my friends but parenting isn’t like riding a bike. in the past decade the world has drastically changed and we are forced to take things into consideration that we would have never dreamed we would have to deal with. I mean, try comparing your adolescents with your child’s. Doesn’t it make your head just spin?

I love little miss Moxie Crime Fighter (our bundles nickname). I am anxious to meet the people who will become her parents. I am anxious to see how this will change our lives and how it will affect the biological clocks of those still holding onto a bit of their youth. We have always (inadvertently) been on a different wave length than our friends and it will be interesting to see what happens when the rest of the group starts their families. The conversations will shift from potty mouth humor to potty training and I can try to talk the talk but they will be able to relate to one another much better than I even though I have been there done that. I liken it to trying to relate to your grandparents. I wonder if our wave length will become twice removed making us feel like babyless aliens amongst a sea of sleepless nights and shitty diapers.

There are times when I am in my car having these little conversations with myself and they end up sounding like a blog entry and then I think, ‘I could’ but that is always followed by, ‘who cares’. I live in this tidy homogenous little box consisting of work, gym, home and/or baseball and really, how interesting is that? There is no mental or emotional strife between me and the Mr. and although living with a “tween” (between teen and adolescent) is proving to be challenging, most of the time I am at a loss for wisdom and the staggering depth of where my bewilderment lies is something that I typically care not to disclose. I mean, I guess perhaps if I wrote about the woes of trying to figure out the complexity of parenting an eleven year old I could “connect” with other parents entering into the same stage of life as I but I have found that the people that I share a commonality with are few and far removed from suburbia.

So what’s a girl like me to do? To shake it up? To kick life in the proverbial ass as an appeal to not be so bored and tired? I mean, there are only so many hammer curls, snack schedules and GUI wire frames a girl can create before she fucking dies of boredom.

When I was a teenager writing horrendous poetry, jotting down tragic thoughts and woe as me feelings into a spiral bound notebook I wished that I had someone to share it with. That someone would read my musings and tell me that my writing was insightful and engaging. That through my words I could create bonds with perfect strangers who empathized with my emotional struggle. Nowadays anyone can share anything with anyone and I think I have forgotten that even though we all have an innate desire to be heard AND understood that in the end we create for our own personal gratification and that the ‘who cares’ shouldn’t matter.

Yeah, we’ll see how long this lasts.