Thursday, March 31, 2005
This could have been me ~ Sniffles ~ DAMN she is super hott!!!
Unfortunately my dreams of becoming a roller derby sex pot has died due to the practice location being in fucking Florida. Okay, Florida MAY be a slight exaggeration but it might as well be. Since Saturday I have been fantasizing about beating chicks up while dressed in knee high tube socks, boy cut panties and a super short skirt, a wife beater and a black eye. Damn I am seriously crushed and I know Johnny K is too. In order to quell our disappointment perhaps I will get all dressed up like and do a couple a laps around the bedroom for good measure.
Hey Rollertrain, is there any hot roller derby porn I can pick up or will I need to make my own?
Monday, March 28, 2005
Saturday night - on the way home feeling the effects of the booze and the rain. I wasnt driving
Camera one
Camera two
Camera one
Camera two
Saturday, March 26, 2005
~ The other night I spent hours trying to figure out how to upload new images to my album to no avail. Dehydrated and pissed, I am lucky I didnt go totally insane and throw my puter out the window. Thanks to my partner in crime (check out his new gallery as well), I chucked the old album and went for a fresh new look altogether. Johnny K customized the new gallery for me and made it look all pretty like and I have talked to another friend who is going to redesign divineimagery dot interweb in exchange for a few hookers and a twelve of PBR. I have also added some new images to the site. As always, even though it is pointless to mention because you all suck ass, critiques and of course accolades are always welcome.
~ There have been very few times that I have looked at another photographers work and gasped in pure awe, want and jealousy but that is exactly what I did when I saw Keith Kin Yan's work at overshadowed.com. I found myself holding my breath as I navigated through his site as his work stirred those emotions that makes me want to laugh and cry at the same time. Talent such as Keith's scares and inspires me and I can only hope that perhaps one day my work will scare and inspire as well.
~ There have been very few times that I have looked at another photographers work and gasped in pure awe, want and jealousy but that is exactly what I did when I saw Keith Kin Yan's work at overshadowed.com. I found myself holding my breath as I navigated through his site as his work stirred those emotions that makes me want to laugh and cry at the same time. Talent such as Keith's scares and inspires me and I can only hope that perhaps one day my work will scare and inspire as well.
Thursday, March 24, 2005
Do you think if I abstain from indulging in the delights of a boy's fuck shaft long enough my virginal purity will develop into what it was before I surrendered to the whorish throb of my orgasm chasm?
Thank God I found the Ten Things Every Girl Should Know About Boys and Their Privates otherwise I would have died a stupid rotten slut. And if I find myself falling off the vag wagon, I can always slip on my Iron Hymen thong, pin a Sex Is For Fags button on my lapel and I will be right as rain.
And girls, please remember article four of the Iron Hymen Abstinence Only Pledge, "To never let tampons violate the sanctity of my hoo-hoo, because tampons are really nothing more than thirsty little albino penises."
Thank God I found the Ten Things Every Girl Should Know About Boys and Their Privates otherwise I would have died a stupid rotten slut. And if I find myself falling off the vag wagon, I can always slip on my Iron Hymen thong, pin a Sex Is For Fags button on my lapel and I will be right as rain.
And girls, please remember article four of the Iron Hymen Abstinence Only Pledge, "To never let tampons violate the sanctity of my hoo-hoo, because tampons are really nothing more than thirsty little albino penises."
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
~ Pick an issue any issue – one of many that I am torturing myself with these days. It is my tri-annual crisis that leaves me crippled and bitter. I have decided that I use this tool as a means to remind myself that I am still alive. Real life has a way of deadening my soul and I have realized that will try to find ways to stimulate myself so that I don’t fall victim to an insipid life devoid of dreams and want. Give me a roller coaster over a merry-go-round any day.
When I feel like I am being put in a box I come out flailing and prepared to insight a riot. It’s rather childish but I think it’s a perfectly natural reaction for those of us who expect a little more out of life than tofu and rice.
Sometimes I wonder if this is why people create these fantastical scenario’s of duplicity, not only within ourselves but (unjustly) in our mates as well. It astounds me that we are constantly needing to masturbate our gorging insecurities as a means to satisfy this innate diffidence we experience when we feel that we are being challenged or when things are just TOO safe. I am thoroughly convinced that there is a breed of people that are not only addicted to the thrill of ambiguity but will eviscerate themselves in order to achieve it’s effects.
~ I am having a torrid affair with BRMC. I wonder if they are aware of this?
*breakfast
*lunch
and
*dinner
*please note that these photographs do not belong to me but rather the lucky fucker who got to take them. I am by no means trying to pass them off as my photos as I respect the rights of other artists
When I feel like I am being put in a box I come out flailing and prepared to insight a riot. It’s rather childish but I think it’s a perfectly natural reaction for those of us who expect a little more out of life than tofu and rice.
Sometimes I wonder if this is why people create these fantastical scenario’s of duplicity, not only within ourselves but (unjustly) in our mates as well. It astounds me that we are constantly needing to masturbate our gorging insecurities as a means to satisfy this innate diffidence we experience when we feel that we are being challenged or when things are just TOO safe. I am thoroughly convinced that there is a breed of people that are not only addicted to the thrill of ambiguity but will eviscerate themselves in order to achieve it’s effects.
~ I am having a torrid affair with BRMC. I wonder if they are aware of this?
*breakfast
*lunch
and
*dinner
*please note that these photographs do not belong to me but rather the lucky fucker who got to take them. I am by no means trying to pass them off as my photos as I respect the rights of other artists
Friday, March 18, 2005
Today's
fun
bag
of
tricks
I would kill to be able to do this everyday. It sucks that in order for us to do the things we love we would have to sacrifice SO goddamn much. But today is beautiful nonetheless and this morning's adventure was was pleasing to my soul.
fun
bag
of
tricks
I would kill to be able to do this everyday. It sucks that in order for us to do the things we love we would have to sacrifice SO goddamn much. But today is beautiful nonetheless and this morning's adventure was was pleasing to my soul.
So I get up at 7 a.m. to take my kid and his project to school. Smelling like a bottle of Jack and a pack of Camel’s, I throw a sweat shirt on over my pajamas, a bandana to cover up the rat’s nest, my flops because I am too lazy to look for shoes and socks, but you know, whatever. All I have to do is come to a rolling stop, shove him and his eighty pound book bag out the car door and I will be home and in bed in ten. Or so I ignorantly thought. No, the kid needs me to help him carry his project into school. FUCK! It’s not like I can tell him mommie went out and got hopped up on booze and cigarettes and she’s just too ruined to be seen in public this early. Fine, whatever. So I substitute my bad kitty jammie bottoms for jeans, take a swig of mouthwash because I really do smell like a bottle of jack and I make sure you couldn’t tell that my braless boobies were un-tethered. Okay so now all I have to do is just park the car, run in to the school, do a rolling stop at his classroom, throw him and his shit in the door and high tail it out of there before I run into someone I know. I figure I can do all of this and be home and in bed in fifteen. WRONG! Again, my plan was thwarted when we reached my kid’s classroom and his teacher was not there. He asked me wait and all I could think of is how my fucking hair smells like I wallowed in an ashtray and I hoped that the Scope truly covered up last night’s fun.
I ended up having a fifteen minute conversation with my kid’s teacher and made it home around 7:40. Now I am repulsed by the smell of myself and decided that a shower takes precedence over sleep. Last night when I told a friend that I had to wake up at 7 a.m. to take my kid to school he told me I was hardcore. I don’t know if he was fucking with me but if he wasn’t, I decided I don’t necessarily know how I feel about the comment. I guess the way that I look at it is, it’s a sad sign of ones age when your friends are calling you hardcore, NOT because you fucked a hooker in a state you didn’t know you were in while strung out on meth but because you have to drag your tired old ass out of bed after only five hours of sleep to take your kid to school. I guess if that is the suburbanite brand of hardcore then I am guilty as charged. Now if you’ll excuse me. I’m going to hose off last night, get dressed, go get coffee in my favorite little café then go and get a pedicure. GODDAMN I AM SO FUCKING HARDCORE IT HURTS!!!!
I ended up having a fifteen minute conversation with my kid’s teacher and made it home around 7:40. Now I am repulsed by the smell of myself and decided that a shower takes precedence over sleep. Last night when I told a friend that I had to wake up at 7 a.m. to take my kid to school he told me I was hardcore. I don’t know if he was fucking with me but if he wasn’t, I decided I don’t necessarily know how I feel about the comment. I guess the way that I look at it is, it’s a sad sign of ones age when your friends are calling you hardcore, NOT because you fucked a hooker in a state you didn’t know you were in while strung out on meth but because you have to drag your tired old ass out of bed after only five hours of sleep to take your kid to school. I guess if that is the suburbanite brand of hardcore then I am guilty as charged. Now if you’ll excuse me. I’m going to hose off last night, get dressed, go get coffee in my favorite little café then go and get a pedicure. GODDAMN I AM SO FUCKING HARDCORE IT HURTS!!!!
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
~ Despite the fact that I felt like a disgusting, repellent pig, I decided to pretend that I was 21 again and went to see the Kaiser Chiefs play last night at Smiths Ole Bar. They were utterly fabulous and it was a great show to catch but I will be surprised if their cd appropriately translates the energy they paraded. Regardless, I highly recommend that everyone go and see them. Their set is short and too the point and I promise they will not disappoint.
~ Last night was also spent with me getting to meet one of my childhood idols. For those of you not in the know that is Mario Andretti and yours truly. It was an honor getting to meet him as I grew up watching Indy car racing and dreaming that I too would one day be able to not only race but to be the first female to win the 500. I was shaking when I finally got to talk to him but Johnny K assured me that I didnt sound like an asshole.
~ Regardless of the fact that Bono is charging six trillion dollars for concert tickets and despite the announcement that he and his wife are developing a clothing line which will be sold exclusively at Bloomies, I would never dare charge him of selling out or call him an arrogant prick drunk on his own ego because he is, as we all know, more righteous than God. And I certainly don't think that that he has lost touch with the common man because after all, he is paying fair wages to the employees that are sewing his couture garments together. I wonder if he will have employee appreciation days where his staff will be able to throw baseballs at a bullseye with the hopes of drowning him in the dunk tank while gorging themselves on bbq and beans? I bet he will and I bet he will be the bestest boss Africa has EVER seen!!! When will this fucker win the Nobel Peace Prize or better yet, be declared a saint? I definitely think that St. Bono has a nice ring to it.
~ Last night was also spent with me getting to meet one of my childhood idols. For those of you not in the know that is Mario Andretti and yours truly. It was an honor getting to meet him as I grew up watching Indy car racing and dreaming that I too would one day be able to not only race but to be the first female to win the 500. I was shaking when I finally got to talk to him but Johnny K assured me that I didnt sound like an asshole.
~ Regardless of the fact that Bono is charging six trillion dollars for concert tickets and despite the announcement that he and his wife are developing a clothing line which will be sold exclusively at Bloomies, I would never dare charge him of selling out or call him an arrogant prick drunk on his own ego because he is, as we all know, more righteous than God. And I certainly don't think that that he has lost touch with the common man because after all, he is paying fair wages to the employees that are sewing his couture garments together. I wonder if he will have employee appreciation days where his staff will be able to throw baseballs at a bullseye with the hopes of drowning him in the dunk tank while gorging themselves on bbq and beans? I bet he will and I bet he will be the bestest boss Africa has EVER seen!!! When will this fucker win the Nobel Peace Prize or better yet, be declared a saint? I definitely think that St. Bono has a nice ring to it.
Friday, March 11, 2005
I have this sinking sensation that all is not right in my world and that there is some intense bullshit happening on the outskirts of town. And it all could be a figment of my imagination but I feel as though I am being punished for a crime that someone else had the luxury of committing many many moons ago. And I feel that the damage is done and I feel like I’ve lost – it will surely never be the same. It all seems very juvenile and I don’t understand but then again – it may not even be real. But I intensely feel that all is not copesetic. And I want to ask but I don’t have the courage because what if I AM insane and everything is right as rain. And plus, is it really my place? Part of me feels that I hardly have the right to be concerned and the other, more self-important part of me says fuck that, I most certainly have the right. Why should I have to suffer at the insecurities of others? But who really knows? Perhaps it’s all a stupid play that I am performing in my stupid head but honestly, I happen to have a pretty decent relationship with my intuition and my intuition is telling me that it’s all downhill from here.
Thursday, March 10, 2005
Last night while I was laying in a hot bath with the haunting song No Quarter by Led Zeppelin ringing through my ears, a scenario played itself out in my head and I conceptualized yet another idea for a photo shoot. It involves, a young girl and an older man, murder, sex, fear, beauty and a decadent grin. It will take place within the confines of a sleazy motel room as well as deep within the sinister woods. It’s to be shot with a very film noir-ish feeling from a very classic point of view.
I am finding that lately my ideas have had a very serial killeresque impression to them. Shoots that involve, butchery and torture and pure unadulterated sex – but in a non-nudity, non-penetration sort of way. It’s all very perverse and surreal and in my opinion plays into those thoughts that we would never admit to anyone we have. The thoughts that makes us question our sanity and test our morality. I have come to the very real conclusion that whether we acknowledge them or not, we all have menacing ideas and the ONLY thing that separates us from the demons that act upon perverted desires is will power. I mean, just because I fantasize about gouging you bloody with my teeth or fucking you madly in front of an audience or committing both feats at the same time, doesn’t necessarily mean I am going to act on those impulses.
I am finding that lately my ideas have had a very serial killeresque impression to them. Shoots that involve, butchery and torture and pure unadulterated sex – but in a non-nudity, non-penetration sort of way. It’s all very perverse and surreal and in my opinion plays into those thoughts that we would never admit to anyone we have. The thoughts that makes us question our sanity and test our morality. I have come to the very real conclusion that whether we acknowledge them or not, we all have menacing ideas and the ONLY thing that separates us from the demons that act upon perverted desires is will power. I mean, just because I fantasize about gouging you bloody with my teeth or fucking you madly in front of an audience or committing both feats at the same time, doesn’t necessarily mean I am going to act on those impulses.
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
I have posted some images from the Sloss Furnaces in Birmingham. You can find them at divine imagery dot interweb. Go to the gallery and the small ass menu will be on the left. You may also see the images my companion shot at mattlandia.com. Comments welcomed!
Monday, March 07, 2005
~ Is it our environment that affects our emotional and mental disposition or are WE the ones influencing our environment by injecting our own chaos into the scenario?
Let me premise the next excerpt by saying I could never give the experience described below the amount of justice it deserves. You just had to be there.
~ The Sloss Furnaces were so incredibly amazing I can’t even put into words just how breathtaking it was. They allow you to wander around the facility un-tethered and un-watched. The place was practically deserted and at times it felt as though we were the only people that existed behind the iron gates. We climbed onto unstable catwalks, up corroding ladders and down every staircase that led into every nebulous crevice we could find. We explored the buildings, some of which housed numerous rooms, rooms that were colossal in size and others that were down in the dark and deranged earth. The vague hints of twisted, intertwined steel taunted us with obscurity and the foreign sounds, the alien smells and the gritty cold equipment assaulted our every sense. It was overwhelming, exhilarating and at times even a little frightening. It surely will be one of those experiences that I will never forget.
Pictures to follow.
~ You would think that after thirty-one years of being brusque and painfully honest that I would know when and where to draw the line. I spose there’s still lots of learnin’ to be done.
Let me premise the next excerpt by saying I could never give the experience described below the amount of justice it deserves. You just had to be there.
~ The Sloss Furnaces were so incredibly amazing I can’t even put into words just how breathtaking it was. They allow you to wander around the facility un-tethered and un-watched. The place was practically deserted and at times it felt as though we were the only people that existed behind the iron gates. We climbed onto unstable catwalks, up corroding ladders and down every staircase that led into every nebulous crevice we could find. We explored the buildings, some of which housed numerous rooms, rooms that were colossal in size and others that were down in the dark and deranged earth. The vague hints of twisted, intertwined steel taunted us with obscurity and the foreign sounds, the alien smells and the gritty cold equipment assaulted our every sense. It was overwhelming, exhilarating and at times even a little frightening. It surely will be one of those experiences that I will never forget.
Pictures to follow.
~ You would think that after thirty-one years of being brusque and painfully honest that I would know when and where to draw the line. I spose there’s still lots of learnin’ to be done.
Thursday, March 03, 2005
~ Last night when I returned home I was drunk on caffeine and bangs and seriously wanted needed to get laid as I had been fucking insatiable for the past week or so. Well, let’s just say that me and the husband were not on the same page and I was DE-NIED. After mulling over the particulars of my defeat, I figured what goes around comes around and my, "I’m too tired" karma was playing games with my libido as I am typically on the denying side of the coin.
I am entering into my long awaited sexual prime. For a while I thought it was a myth but I am starting to see signs that it actually exists. I have also been seriously contemplating how I prioritize sex and have decided that it is about time I take control of my desire and not let lame ass excuses dicktate when I get dick. For a while now I have longed for the days when I could fuck like a wild monkey and masturbate like a fiend and it still wasn’t enough to satisfy my sexual urge. I’m just so tired of allowing myself to give into the propensity to settle for what’s easy. I am a very sexual woman by nature but not by practice and I think it’s about effing time that my inner slut be released.
~ Well I did it. I got me some bangs. They look incredibly fantastic but I think they need to be a little less indie chick and a little more functional. I incorrectly determined how I would wear my hair on a regular basis and bangs in the eyes are quite annoying. I guess I’m not as rock-n-roll as I thought I was even though I love love love the change.
~ I was wondering the other day just exactly what percentage of our actions, thoughts etc. are dictated by innate human behavior and what percentage is dictated by our past experiences.
I am entering into my long awaited sexual prime. For a while I thought it was a myth but I am starting to see signs that it actually exists. I have also been seriously contemplating how I prioritize sex and have decided that it is about time I take control of my desire and not let lame ass excuses dicktate when I get dick. For a while now I have longed for the days when I could fuck like a wild monkey and masturbate like a fiend and it still wasn’t enough to satisfy my sexual urge. I’m just so tired of allowing myself to give into the propensity to settle for what’s easy. I am a very sexual woman by nature but not by practice and I think it’s about effing time that my inner slut be released.
~ Well I did it. I got me some bangs. They look incredibly fantastic but I think they need to be a little less indie chick and a little more functional. I incorrectly determined how I would wear my hair on a regular basis and bangs in the eyes are quite annoying. I guess I’m not as rock-n-roll as I thought I was even though I love love love the change.
~ I was wondering the other day just exactly what percentage of our actions, thoughts etc. are dictated by innate human behavior and what percentage is dictated by our past experiences.
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
~ Fun with my new lens.
image 1
image 2
image 3
Against my better judgment, I resized these even though the smaller versions don't do these any justice. I fancy the third one in particular as the whammy bar cut the photo in half segregating the blurred portion from the sharp portion almost perfectly. It is a real treat to see the bigger, badder version of it.
~ Saturday a friend and I are heading to Alabamer for a photo expedition. I am giddy with excitement even though I am wrought with anxiety over the fact that I am now a non-smoker. I have never NOT smoked while shooting. Even when I didn't smoke I smoked while taking photographs. It's just what artist do so now I am going to have to figure something out. Regardless of this dilemma, I am still fucking ecstatic to be going.
~ Today I stood and listened to a co-worker RAVE about my how fabulous tits looked in the top I was wearing while standing in front of his wife. It seemed like an eternity and I was so incredibly uncomfortable because he just wouldn't shut the fuck up. I can usually handle the comments and the stares as I work in a manufacturing plant and have come to accept the fact that the men I work with are cut from a less politically correct cloth than I. Or are they? Anyhow, I have an idea up my sleeve that will hopefully get me out of that hellish environment.
image 1
image 2
image 3
Against my better judgment, I resized these even though the smaller versions don't do these any justice. I fancy the third one in particular as the whammy bar cut the photo in half segregating the blurred portion from the sharp portion almost perfectly. It is a real treat to see the bigger, badder version of it.
~ Saturday a friend and I are heading to Alabamer for a photo expedition. I am giddy with excitement even though I am wrought with anxiety over the fact that I am now a non-smoker. I have never NOT smoked while shooting. Even when I didn't smoke I smoked while taking photographs. It's just what artist do so now I am going to have to figure something out. Regardless of this dilemma, I am still fucking ecstatic to be going.
~ Today I stood and listened to a co-worker RAVE about my how fabulous tits looked in the top I was wearing while standing in front of his wife. It seemed like an eternity and I was so incredibly uncomfortable because he just wouldn't shut the fuck up. I can usually handle the comments and the stares as I work in a manufacturing plant and have come to accept the fact that the men I work with are cut from a less politically correct cloth than I. Or are they? Anyhow, I have an idea up my sleeve that will hopefully get me out of that hellish environment.
